Recently single after four years, I think back and wonder if my time could have been better spent testing the waters and seeing what else was out there. There are no hard feelings with the ex – don’t get me wrong; he was definitely my best friend and I hope one day he will return back to his title (as best friend) – but I can’t help but think that a relationship which starts at 19 years old can never be a good one. Instead of blaming just one person for the failure, I would say that I might not have known how to be the best girlfriend, and he might not have known how to be the best boyfriend – and that all comes with experience.
The trend that has hit me and my ladies recently is the ‘break-up’. Though it sucks in the beginning, it’s most often the best thing that can happen. I’ve accomplished things I probably let sit on the back-burner for a while, and really focused on myself. I even realized how unfocused I was on my relationship, seeing that I was really only focused on school, and my career – leaving him in the background. Though the timing and mindset might have not been right, I don’t regret a single thing.
With shows like Sex and the City and movies like He’s Just Not That in to You, a window of the single gal’s life is often not reality. False hopes of Prince Charming appearing when you least expect it, ‘Mr. Big’ re-affirming his love after years, and the constant reminder that ‘he might be around the corner’ are always presented by friends, family, and some people who quite frankly I don’t think should be giving advice. They make it seem like there is a constant search going on, and that no opportunity should be missed. They zoom in on any and all scenarios to let you know that ‘hey – we’ve been there too’.
I like being single, and have noticed that my ‘singleness’ has triggered everyone I know to think of anyone who might be remotely compatible. I don’t want to be in a relationship, if I wanted to be in one I would be – I like my ‘me’ time. If only they read my blog. But, I guess, my identity would be revealed and therefore the entire purpose would get swept under a rug.
Long story short – one of my best girls found her prince charming (the Charlotte), another one has moved to another continent as she has exhausted all efforts in North America (the Samantha), and another one is trying to get out of her circle to meet more people while she is on her career path (mix of Carrie and Miranda).
And me, well I’d like to think that I’m just positive and comfortable in my own skin. Someone who knows that everything happens for a reason, who knows that one day everything will work out just the way it should… I hope.